Blogs are for ranting, right, right... so here I go. I return from vacation and I set to return the house to normal. I start by plugging in the electronics I’ve unplugged to save electricity. Lighting the pilot light of the hot water heater and turning up its thermostat. Go to the sliding glass doors and unlock the door stop or pull the broom stick. Set clocks, turn up the heat. Open the window blinds, bring around the trash. Take inventory, making sure everything is as it should be. Everything is in order. I haul the suitcases upstairs to the bedroom, crack one open and begin putting away the contents or tossing things into the dirty clothes pile. Amazing how big that pile is.

I continue putting things away and stub my toe on the metal box under the bed. Ahah! Forgot that. I reach down and drag out the box far enough to enter the unlock code with the five keys on top of the box. Nothing. No light, no beep, nothing. Hmm, I pull the box all the way out from the bed and set it on top. It’s never done this before. Not a good thing when the gun safe under the bed won’t unlock. Well no problem. It has a backup battery system and I’ll get a nine volt battery and get it open. This was one of the features that sold me on the safe. I head to the basement in search of the battery. Find one and return upstairs. Holding the battery against the external posts that will power the lock, I enter the combination. Nothing. Not a beep, no light. The wife is alerted to my frustration and attempts to help. We download the instructions for the safe and review the troubleshooting steps. I follow the suggestions with no luck. Still can’t open the safe which holds my Smith & Wesson M&P .40 semi automatic pistol equipped with a Streamlight TLR2 mounted light with laser. Granted this isn’t an emergency, but then again I don’t have access to my hand gun. Well, there is a third feature to this metal box, the keylock. Easily recognizable, it’s one of those fancy round, candy vending machine ones. Now where did I put it? Like I said its unique. But, I don’t recall seeing it since I purchased the box several years ago.

A small panic sets in. Where to find it? I begin to search all the locations that a responsible planning adult would store such a key. Such as the fire safe box, the downstairs gun cabinet, tool boxes, file cabinets, the spare keys ring in the kitchen drawer, many desk and dresser drawers. No luck. An hour wasted. I try the backup battery method, still no luck. The wife sensing my frustration suggests she might know where it is and disappears, returning with a round key. Sure enough, it unlocks the gun safe. She informs me I overlooked the jewelry box on my dresser. I restrain my inner voice from escaping, thinking how she could have saved me all that time. That’s payback for something. Just not sure what.

I pull out the gun, and spare magazine. I check the status of the gun. First, releasing the magazine, then pulling the action back and locking it in place, verifying the barrel is empty and gun unloaded. I set it aside and pull out the battery pack which powers the lock and change the batteries. No luck. I install another set and still no luck. I Follow the manufacturer’s instructions for troubleshooting and still nothing. I decide enough is enough and bring the box upstairs and return it to its location. I insert the magazine into the gun and place it into the safe. It will remain that way till I can email the manufacturer. With just the two of us in the house there is less of a need to keep the box locked. I still think it should be closed but, only if I can get the keypad operational. Locking it with a key and leaving the key in the lock doesn’t make any sense. Removing the key doesn’t work because I cannot get into the box without fumbling with the key and lock. Open and ready is how I’ll leave it, if I can’t get any help from the maker then I’ll ask Santa for a present. In retrospect that wasn’t much of a rant. Sorry, I’ll work on it.